The New New Adventure (NNA) is the much anticipated sequel to the Next Adventure blog where we tracked our predictions and journey into parenting when Lila was born (November 2019). Now she’s a big sister. The NNA continues the fun and antics with the addition of blessing #2, baby Ciara. Two is a whole new ball game…
Get the full ‘New New Thing’ Series here: charleskunken.com/season8
The New New Adventure #2 - First Week Home
The door swung open and the biggest baby I’d ever seen came scampering towards us. It gave me a flashback from that movie with Rick Moranis.
Honey I Blew Up the Kid (1992)
Image: Walt Disney Pictures
Did I just time travel? Because Lila is not this big. She is my baby.
She leaned over the carrier and squealed a few greetings to her new baby sister. She gave Ciara the ground rules, told her where the contraband was stashed, and then ran off. I’m not sure what I expected but she was busy. Lila had stuff to do.
One of the perks this time around was not having to go to a lot of pre-birth classes. Been there done that. Right?
For some reason I vaguely remember slightly more chilling, watching full movies, making food…it’s like riding a bike with amnesia.
The second night home Ciara kept wiggling out of her poorly wrapped swaddle and I realized that my run of controlling her was over before it had even started. Then I had a deep insight—it’s not my job to restrain her, it’s my job to teach her to be free. Has this already begun? (Velcro swaddles just arrived.)
Maybe this is a tip (probably not) – try not to be at the end of a suspenseful thriller when baby arrives? Fellow book worms know my real advice is always be reading the best book you can get your mitts on. Best bet is just finish it as quick as possible.
Here’s a weird thing that happened. At the hospital pharmacy, pre-discharge, the clerk asked: are you the spouse? Yes, I’m the husband. (Just to clarify.)
Laundry: I measure folding by % volume complete and always throw in one of my own hoodies for when I need to feel a burst of efficiency.
Low light: pushing air out of diaper genie bag and getting some in my mouth. Not unique to this week, just generally low.
When Lila is quiet, it’s how I know she’s off doing something bad. I know because it’s the same sound I make when I’m eating Halo Top out of the jar. Question–how does she know exactly which stuff she shouldn’t be playing with? And how are there no toys that can captivate for that long?
I used to analyze whether my apartments were close enough to good bars and restaurants. Now I’m trying to understand the psychological ramifications on a 15-month-old of a new sibling entering the household. This feels like a small step up that I am in no way qualified to take on. I think it’ll be fine. I hope. Lila did put me in an arm bar at one point this week when I tried to change her.
In three years my abode has gone from 100% male to 25%. It’s a good thing I’m in touch with my feminine side.
Mom is still the hero of this tale. It’s almost unreal how uneven the scales are. Mom: you’ll have to sacrifice your entire body for 9 months ending in a climactic event only after which you can then begin to slowly recover. And you have to feed the baby too. Dad: you have a couple extra chores. You can buy everything on your phone.
Anyways, I threw out some leftover pizza today which means I’ll never have leftovers again that are older than any of my children. Feels like a good milestone.
(Wait a minute, I have children?)
Demetrious Johnson (left) completes an armbar against Ray Borg.Jeff Bottari/Zuffa LLC/Getty Images
Have some thoughts? Feel free to drop a comment or hit me up: charlie@charleskunken.com
Other Posts In The ‘New New Thing’ Series
The twinkle in his eye made it clear that he was sincerely happy for me. Before he turned his back he said, “Congrats again on the pressure washer.”