And the full ‘New Adventure’ Series here: charleskunken.com/season3
The New Adventure was a blog series we started about our predictions on parenting the week before Lila was born. Every now and then we like to check in.
The upsides to creativity within the nooks and crannies of parenting (with the help of a kick-@$$ wife) .
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On November 20, 2019, at the beginning of the New Adventure series (and a week before Lila was born) I wrote about what I thought creativity might look like as a parent.
I like the idea of finding just a few minutes a week to try and say something useful and true and seeing what comes out.
Here’s a before and after of my creative routines:
~circa Nov-2019:
8pm in bed, read for 45 minutes, lights out, 4:30 am wake up, twenty minutes of yoga while listening to a podcast, free-writing journal for 35 minutes, usually under a dimly lit artisanal light bulb with a candle nearby, work on the week’s blog post for about 30-45 minutes, work on the children’s book or another project for 30-45 minutes, head to office.
Now:
Carry Lila to sleep anywhere between 10:30pm and 2am. Wakeup at 7:45am, try to write 1,000 words on the heist novel before 9am, open work email, begin day, do some stretching while on conference calls that do not require video, remember to go brush teeth. At night after dinner find some nooks to open the laptop. Usually stay awake too late, even if Lila goes down for the count.
The point is I am liking the non-sexy version of creativity right now. The process maps closely with the purpose - to analyze real life. It prioritizes time and I have even better things in my head to write about. It also puts everything into a good perspective.
First off, creativity doesn’t require candles.*
Second, any opportunity that you get to think about art is truly a gift. Here in the modern western world we have more varieties of food and entertainment at our disposal than the King of Vint. (Not to mention I’m am also blessed with a superhero wife who wakes up several times a night).
With the tools of the 21st century if one is fortunate enough to have health you really can only be grateful. Often times the only real obstacle is ourselves to simply sit down and execute.
*but candles are a guilty pleasure
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Anyways, here are some of this month’s thoughts on dad life.
I used to think Girl Scout cookies would pose the biggest risk to a dad-bod but I was wrong. It’s lactation cookies. And it feels like the stakes have risen.
Lila stopped fitting into newborn clothes at 2.5 months. I still can’t wrap my ahead around the concept that she grows. It was laundry day when I realized this and that other box was still in the garage. That’s why she was wearing a random oversized Christmas outfit in February.
I’m advancing in my understanding of baby cries, a little. My original perception was that every noise was a matter of life or death. This pace is hard to keep up.
But I do appreciate the Darwinian effectiveness of having innate signals that are difficult to ignore. For instance the signal for any level of hunger is, ‘I will now try to eat my hand off’. There is no intermediary signal for ‘getting hungry’ and there are not many other signs that could make you feel more neglectful.
Sometimes Lila will snooze with us in the big bed for short stints of time. I imagine that a trapped wild raccoon underneath the covers would move less but I doubt I would enjoy it as much.
I like to joke on these updates but I will say there are also times when she cries hysterically and you have no idea why. You hold her, rock her, comfort her. You put her down for one second and she starts gagging herself. F*CK, OMG, are you ok?
She may stop crying barely long enough for you to yell in desperation Alexa, play spa music.
When the calm finally does come you look to the sky and thank whomever it is you pray to and you promise you will never sin again.
I would never dare complain about any of this. Some people have real health problems going on right now. This is all good. But damn, that can scare the $h*t out of you..
Lastly, I will leave you with a note on routines. Apparently, it’s very important to establish regular rituals so that your baby starts to get used to a schedule. For example, our nightly bedtime routine has been working very successfully.
Every night around eight pm we brush our teeth while Lila watches from her rocker. Then we start a bottle, dance for her, play music, have some more bottle, read stories, work on the laptop while bouncing her in the rocker with a foot, cuddle her, put her down, pick her up, sing, dance some more and three to four hours later she falls right asleep. Works like a charm. Every night.
Hit me up if you want any more tips!
Have some thoughts? Feel free to drop a comment or hit me up: charlie@charleskunken.com
Other Posts In The ‘New Adventure’ Series
The upsides to creativity within the nooks and crannies of parenting (with the help of a kick-@$$ wife)