The doctor is definitely gonna cart us away…
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My reflections in real time on becoming a parent.
It was time for our two week appointment. Lila had a mystery scratch on her head, the beginnings of a diaper rash, and I learned part way through that I forgot to pick up the Vitamin D droplets or whatever they were prescribed at our first appointment.
Even still, my greatest fear was unfounded - that child services would be called to pick us up for neglect!
The greatest shock came when the nurse measured Lila, 20 inches!
Is that real!?!
That was two whole inches since the hospital. Either this was human error or we must have had the most advanced baby this pediatrician had ever seen.
‘They grow,’ the nurse replied. ‘That’s what babies do.’
I hadn’t thought of that.
I’m not sure why I was so dumbfounded by this. I guess since her presence was so new and we had been so deep in survival mode that the concept of her growing hadn’t even crossed my mind yet.
I was very proud.
Most everybody who has said congrats has also encouraged us to just ’enjoy every moment.’ I think I get it now.
Even the nights she is up, one friend added recently. For some recent that additional phrase has really stuck with me.
I realize we are currently in that very special time when Lila could fit snugly into one arm so I’m constantly reminding myself to be present and appreciative of every second she is 20”. Especially the nights we are up.
You want to do as much as you possibly can to make sure you are appreciating it but what more can you do?
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Some other observations:
A newborn’s sleep schedule seems like someone who is jet lagged. I used to solve this problem by drinking heavily after dinner the first night of a trip, by the morning everything would be reset. This only backfired once, badly, in Singapore. Either way new tactics are required.
The way a newborn eats reminds me of the French. Very slowly. All good, as long as she doesn’t try to bum a cigarette after her feedings…
In the game of changing table roulette the house wins approximately 30% of the time. Will she spring a leak before a new diaper is on? I don’t know a gambler who wouldn’t take those odds.
Lila and I have taken to studying the historical record of heist films, given our late night schedule. Two nights ago, after much Wikipedia we figured out why every heist film prior to 1968 ended with the bad guy losing. We’ll be posting our discoveries in the next blog series, ‘The Anatomy Of A Heist’, coming Q1 2020. This is a companion exercise to improve our own heist story that we are in the process of writing
Mom’s started her fitness-lifestyle blog. This is much more practical.
Earlier this week I found myself using the tongs to debone a turkey leg at the Whole Foods buffet before putting it into my carton so that it would weigh less. Look, I wasn’t even thinking, it was just a reaction. It’s the principle! I’m not proud of it. I’m becoming aware of some of the things I might be unconsciously teaching our child and upon reflection I’m not sure I can say that I’m better than this.
I guess I’m realizing that parenting is a journey, not something you arrive at abruptly like turning on a stereo that was previously set to high. It’s more like someone gradually turning up the volume without you even realizing the music was on.
It’s going on all the time. It’s going on right now…oh my.
Have some thoughts? Feel free to drop a comment or hit me up: charlie@charleskunken.com
Other Posts In The Next Adventure Series
The upsides to creativity within the nooks and crannies of parenting (with the help of a kick-@$$ wife)